V1 – Tonedeff – (TROJAN NUTFLAPS)
Are you concerned about the risks of STDs when your balls slap the butt-crack?
Introducing, the all new & improved Trojan Nutflap!
The only protection against disease for your sack/
That intervenes with the splash of even the sleaziest snatch/
Now, breathe easy! In fact, you can rest assured that you’re safe/
The elastic band attaches fast so that it’ll hold it in place
No exposure to AIDS, Herpes Simplex or Scrotal Warts/
TROJAN FLAPS! – For when your little lady’s a total whore.
V2 – PackFM – (NOREXAL)
Now, if you got a dry scalp, I know you heard this before/
‘Got snow on your shirt, homey, go brush your shoulders off’/
Don’t know what to do? QN5 brings to you (Norexall)/
A new medicated dandruff shampoo (Norexall)/
Experimental, not FDA approved/
But if properly used, some minor side-effects include/
Nausea, blisters, hair loss in some sections/
Liver-failure, a skin rash, and mild depression/
Insomnia and a slight addiction to crack/
But you’ll forget about your flakes or we’ll give your money back!
V3 – Mr. SOS – (SMASHINGALE)
What’s poppin miss? Have you ever felt not so fresh,
To the point where you wanna wash your breasts and brush your teeth but it’s not your breath? Cop this then!/
Smashingale! It removes haters, improves vapors/
And if you’re getting your freak on, you can get it in new flavors!
Cherry Reds and Grapes! Your homey friends will stay/
Impressed for days, whether for the scent or the taste/
Representing your face, like a down ass chicks’ supposed to/
Also available in water & vinegar if you are old school.
V4 – Session – (SPICDONALD’S)
(Hey Mama! I wanna go to Spicdonald’s!)
Hey Latinos! We got something for ya!
A Side of papas fritas and a McPollo!
Drowning in oil! MmMM. What a deal!
Cop a Goya Malta and make it a meal!
(Yo Quiero Taco Bell!) No Cabron!
Go to Spickey D’s, cop a side of chicharon’!
Come down if you want some grubbin quick!
(Jingle) I’m lovin it!
V5 – Deacon The Villain – (SWEET STICKY DREAM)
Whether you’re married or it’s time to sin/
Go ‘head rub it in on your skin, in that special spot where privates blend/
Natural Male Enhancement Cream!
Sweet Sticky Dream!
Whether you’re with a smut or lady friend just trying to corner men/
But you can’t get it up to bust a nut on her chin/
Turn that performance from a Zero to a Ten!
Sweet Sticky Dream!
I know it’s not hard for you, you wanna do what grown folks do/
But you ain’t got the steam! You need Sweet Sticky Dream!
You try and try to get it up, but you need more than big D-Cups/
Her mouthpiece just ain’t good enough, you need Sweet Sticky Dream!
V6 – Mr. Mecca – (JAFONEY & LIARS)
Just call the law offices of Jafoney & Liars/
Forget them slip & falls or them accidental fires/
Here at J&L we’re all about getting you paid/
Suing the razor company if you get cut when you shave/
Help sue your one-nighter if you find her chest is hairy/
Or your babymoms for buying more milk than necessary/
Dial 1-900-IM-RICH-BITCH! Come on, It’s easy/
It ain’t like you got a job, you’re at home watching TV!
V7 – Kno – (DENNYS)
Now people have accused Denny’s of being racist/
So now we’re giving our restaurants a hip-hop facelift/
Jukebox pumpin Mack 10/
Every manager’s required to have at least 1 black friend/
We’ll give you people your own separate bathrooms/
Plus our hash browns are chopped and screwed/
All of that with a smile and a handshake/
This week’s Special: Fried Chicken-Flavored Pancakes!
Substantial is one of the greatest living emcees on the planet. Adultish is a masterwork of self-produced music about ageing gracefully, handled with a stunning level of emotional & artistic maturity. Tonedeff
supported by 46 fans who also own “Commercial Rap”
I think this is the most Cunninlynguists’ underrated project and glad to have this as a vinyl. Cunninlynguists are probably the most unique, exciting group in hip hop history.. cheers from Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦 BLQLYTE